


Scarves and Tools

by Liritar



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Sgrub Session, Caliginous Romance | Kismesis, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-12
Updated: 2017-05-12
Packaged: 2018-10-31 01:03:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,217
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10888623
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Liritar/pseuds/Liritar
Summary: A candlelit hate date on the beach. Eridan is a tool and Sollux is a jerk.





	Scarves and Tools

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so this was started as a word sprint challenge, which I didn't win, but I hope I at least managed to write some comedic smut. Enjoy.

Sollux grabbed his kismesis by his stupid scarf. "Look, athhole, I don't care what you're whining about. If you don't thut up, I'm gonna make you. With my bulge."

Eridan looked offended. But that was just his normal face, so it was hard to tell, really. Sollux smirked at him.

"No, just listen, you irritating peasant," the seadweller sneered. "I wwas trying to tell you something important."

Sollux rolled his eyes, making them light up so that Eridan could see him do it. "If it wath coming out of YOUR mouth, it wathn't worth anything," he drawled.

"I don't knoww wwhy I bother," Eridan sighed. "Come on, I wwant to showw you something." He grabbed Sollux's hand, digging his claws into his wrist, and dragged him forcibly to the door of the hive.

"Hey!" Sollux dug his heels in, which did nothing against the seadweller's greater strength. This was why he used his psionics against him most of the time.

"Stop it, you idiot, I have a surprise for you." Eridan picked Sollux up and threw him over his shoulder, striding out into the evening gloom, towards the beach surrounding the wrecked ship that was his hive.

Sollux kicked him repeatedly, but wasn't quite ready to break loose. This was intriguing. Eridan rarely made gestures like this, and he wanted to see where it was going.

Erdian set him down behind a rock, where a candlelit lawnmeal had been set up. "This is wwhy I invvited you here tonight," he said haughtily. "I thought you might like to eat something that wwasn't commoner swwill."

Sollux rolled his eyes again. "What, you think I want to eat dithguthting fithh food?" he grumbled. But it was actually pretty sweet. He'd have to thank him later. With his bulge. And maybe his teeth. And definitely some psionic wrestling. Yes. He smirked at the other troll, eyes gleaming with his inner fire.

They sat down to eat, throwing light barbs at each other the whole time. Sollux had to admit he was having fun. And Eridan, for once in his stupid life, had managed to not fuck this up. So there was that.

He wrapped his powers around the seatroll and tugged him close, ignoring the scowl on his face. Eridan claimed this was cheating, but he could suck a bulge. He wasn't about to let HIM win every time, just because he was stronger. He forced his kismesis down on the snuggleplane they'd been eating on and straddled him, bending down for a hungry kiss.

Eridan wriggled beneath him, angrily hissing while still kissing him back. Sollux bit at his lips, smirking. He let his powers weaken to give the other troll more range of movement.

Which proved to be a mistake. Eridan broke free, rolling them until he was above his thinner lover. "I am NOT your plaything," he hissed down at him.

Sollux smirked. "No, but you're totally a tool," he pointed out, snickering.

"I hate you so much." And then Eridan was kissing him again, all fangs and tongue and it was wonderful. As much as he hated to admit it, once Eridan got worked up, he was a pitch dream.

He raked his claws down that stupid fucking cape his kismesis insisted on wearing, hopefully at least snagging the fabric a bit. If he could ruin it, the night would taste that much sweeter.

Eridan let out a huff of displeasure, reaching up to unfasten the cape and let it fall.

Sollux helped him with the scarf, but not before pulling it tight against his throat for a moment. Seriously, what kind of dumbass goes to his kismesis with fabric around his retarded neck? Only Mr. Eridan “I’m Too Cool For Brains” Ampora. Sollux tossed the stupid thing as far away as he could, hoping that the tide would catch it and snatch it away before they finished. If not, he’d burn the damn thing himself later.

The seadweller growled down at him, and he surged up to rekindle their kiss, digging his plentiful fangs into the other’s lower lip. He could taste blood, and it made him want more. Not more blood. More Eridan. However disgusting that was in theory, in practice he was pretty damn good.

This was taking too long. Using his psionics, he ripped the rest of the clothes off the two of them, smirking up at Eridan. “Thee thomething you want?” he purred as sultrily as he could. Which, too be fair, wasn’t very. But he was trying, dammit.

“All I see is a skinny little peasant wwho thinks he’s better than he is,” Eridan sneered.

“But you want me.” Sollux dragged his claws down Eridan’s chest and abdomen, down to where his bulge was sliding against his thigh, making it totally obvious how much he wanted him.

“Unf. Shut up,” he growled, slamming their mouths together to make him stop talking.

Sollux laughed against his lips, using his distraction to his advantage, sliding his own bulge up right where he wanted it. Eridan let out a shocked sound as he wriggled into his nook. That’s what he got for taking his mind off the prize. What little mind he had, that was. The seatroll relaxed, giving himself up to the pleasure. There was no point in fighting once someone won, after all. That just postponed the bliss of sex. He pressed his hips closer, letting Sollux get his bulge all the way into him. Mmm, that was nice.

He tugged Eridan down and bit his neckfin. Tasty tasty fish fins, heh. It didn’t hurt that they made the arrogant prick moan like a bitch. Like HIS bitch. Oh yeah. He dug his fangs in harder, breaking skin enough to taste blood. Eridan let out a high-pitched whine, melting on top of him and releasing his slurry in a rush. Ha. He was good. He let out a self-satisfied groan as he came himself, soaking the snuggleplane with their combined fluids. It was a waste, but they’d filled enough buckets that it wouldn’t be fatal.

He finally released Eridan’s fin from the death grip his fangs had on it, letting him stop trembling and whimpering. What a bitch. Mmm.

“Ugh. I hate you, you disgusting peasant.” Eridan rolled off of him, grabbing a corner of the snuggleplane to wipe the slurry off his skin.

“Heh. I think you look good in yellow,” Sollux smirked. Eridan flipped him off and stalked to the ocean, diving in to rinse himself off. The yellowblood knew he’d be under for a decent amount of time, which gave him ample opportunity for fucking with him behind his back. He stood and stretched, looking around the beach. He spotted that fucking scarf, sadly not swept away into the horrible depths while they had a nice fuck.

He scooped the thing up, looking at it in distaste. It really was hideous. And made Eridan look like such a gogdamned idiot. There had to be a way to get him to stop wearing it. He could destroy it, or… Oh. An evil grin stretched across his face. Yes. Oh, yes.

He rubbed the fabric over his flesh, smearing it with a delightful mix of yellow and violet, then dropped it on the snuggleplane. Next time he’d use the cape.


End file.
